For those trapped in a difficult marriage, it is not uncommon to feel suffocated. Every disagreement throws another load of dirt on an already buried soul.
- Are you wondering how your marriage ended up in constant conflict?
- Have you asked yourself if it is God’s will for you to stay married to your spouse at this point?
No matter what storms life throws your way, you can be certain God wants you to have a marriage that allows you to endure them together.
“…and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’’—Mark 10:8-9
In Ecclesiastes, God reminds us of why two is better than one…
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken.”—Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (emphasis added)
Three Overlooked Blessing Blockers in Your Marriage
When you think about marriage, you are probably thinking about having companionship, raising kids, and building careers. Perhaps you should be thinking about purpose. Specifically, what is the purpose God has lined out for your marriage?
Some things might be more obvious than others. If you have children, it is clear that God wants you to raise them to be in a relationship with Him…
“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”—Deuteronomy 6:6-9
But what else?
Nothing brings a couple closer than working on a common goal. Start by asking God why He has placed you in the neighborhood, job, or friend circle that you are in.
Sit down with your spouse and identify what ways you are serving with your whole hearts as a couple. If you struggle to find a common purpose, then you need to seek it in prayer, together!
Remember, serving for any other reason than to bring honor and glory to God and His kingdom is NOT serving at all! It may take time for God to unfold His plan for your marriage, but you can rest assured that He has one.
Pride can be a blessing blocker in all areas of our lives, especially marriage. When we worry more about being right than how our spouse is feeling, we miss out on those opportunities of true authenticity as a couple.
What does that mean?
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be, and embracing who we are. So, the question we all need to wrestle with is, “Who am I created to be?”
- Did God create me to be right?
“By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well-advised is wisdom.”—Proverbs 13:10
When we are open to the advice of others, we gain wisdom.
- Did God create me to never admit weakness?
“And He said to me, ’My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”—2 Corinthians 12:9
It is only by admitting we are weak that we get to walk in the power of the Spirit.
- Did God create me to be proud?
“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.”— Romans 12:3
If you are focused on your worth in the eyes of others, you will miss your true value through God’s eyes.
It may seem counterintuitive to take a look at yourself when talking about marriage. In all actuality, it is the best place to start. When your personal relationship with God is intact, it is much easier to align your marriage with Him. Change has to start somewhere—why not with you?
God designed marriage as a special gift, yet it is often taken for granted. It is easy to justify why we are hurt or angry and then hold on to those negative feelings. Holding on to unforgiveness can be likened to holding a hot ember in your hand… It only hurts the one holding it.
The only way to truly forgive is through the strength of the Holy Spirit. When a decision is made to follow Jesus, God’s Spirit takes up residence in you. If you are not activating the Spirit, then you are missing out on one of the biggest blessings God offers you.
“…do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”—1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Although forgiveness is a process that takes time, it is the most selfless and rewarding gift you can offer your spouse. We are all in need of forgiveness, and we are all called to forgive.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”—Matthew 6:14-15
Those words carry a lot of weight. In order to be forgiven, we must forgive! God knew this would go against our human nature. He also knew how damaging unforgiveness would be to Christians and their relationships.
Forgiveness is a choice. It will require effort. You will need to attend to the areas of your marriage that need the most work. Then work at it, every day!
We must fight back against blessing blockers. To do so, we need to recognize and trust who God is.
There is no need to clean up the situation before you present it to God. He is the One who makes a situation clean, not you.
No situation is outside of His grasp for redemption!
Every second that you delay coming into agreement with God about what He has in store for your relationship, it is another second that you are being blocked from the blessings He has planned for your marriage.
Would you like someone to lead you in prayer to help you realize what God has in store for your life and relationship? If so, reach out to one of our intercessors for 1-on-1 prayer.
We would love to join you in the journey of aligning your will with God’s. It is time to unlock His blessings in your marriage!