Is Marital Fidelity Possible?


Many people ask this question, especially when there is hurt and hard times in marriage, “Is marital fidelity possible?” Fidelity is defined as, ‘faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.’ Fidelity is about character. When we put on the identity of Christ, we have this character downloaded in us, giving us the strength to demonstrate continuous love and support.

We were created to partner with God, to be in relationship, and subdue the earth.

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’”—Genesis 1:27-28

This means that we are to be in covenant with God and with our spouse. God is a God of order and has provided instruction for us, that we may be guarded and have peace in Him. In God’s design, husbands are to wash their families with the Word, and wives are to encourage their husbands and love them where they are, in that both of their relationships with God are strengthened and they will be equipped to walk in His divine plan for their lives.

Marriage is a process that must be maintained. Unfortunately, when trials enter into the relationship brokenness can occur. If you step out of the trial before the triumph, you could be missing out on wonderful blessings.

Marriage is hard work. In the midst of this intimate design we can feel hopeless, alone, and frustrated. How are we to deal with these struggles? What happens when you have been praying and there is still no heart change in either you or your spouse? There is hope! We can realign with God’s design and have peace and comfort in marriage.

“The entirety of Your word is truth, and every one of Your righteous judgments endures forever.”—Psalm 119:160

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Are you discerning the world’s voice from God’s voice regarding marriage?

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”—Romans 12:2

Those that know this verse by heart can still fall into Satan’s trap of worldly schemes. In part, because they are not fully aware of how Satan presents his disguises. The enemy’s voice shames, places guilt, and accuses in slow and subtle ways.

We need to understand who and what the world is. The world is any opinion that is not aligned with God’s opinion. “…for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me.”—John 14:30

God’s voice is peaceful, calming, full of wisdom, and brings you into alignment with Him. It transforms the heart and renews the mind.

Satan’s deceptive whispers of lies started with Eve in the Garden.

“Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, ‘Has God indeed said, “You shall not eat of every tree of the garden”?’”—Genesis 3:1

What are the lies the enemy whispers to you?

  • Your spouse’s actions are far worse than yours.
  • Believe and act upon how you feel rather than stand on the Word of God.
  • Your spouse owes you.
  • You are alone and your spouse is the enemy.

Satan exaggerates our spouse’s weaknesses, sows seeds of bitterness, jealousy, suspicion, and doubts. He wants you to wallow in your self-pity and urges you to find something better.

God’s comforting Words of truth.

Our marriage is to be a mirror of our relationship with God.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”—Ephesians 5:22-27

The purpose of marriage is to glorify God that it may be a witness of His covenant love, so that others will come to know Him.

When our life seems overwhelming and you feel alone, do you turn from God and indulge the senses that Satan temps you with, or do you rest in His truth and ask for His strength to love your spouse? When we walk out of alignment this opens up doors for the enemy to enter and destroy.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”—John 10:10

We must wrap our minds around the truth that the Lord wants us to have abundance in every area of our life, including marriage. It is not intended to be endured, it is intended to be blessed. One of Satan’s biggest targets, besides the Church, is marriage and family. He knows a three-stranded cord is not easily broken. If he can slowly start to pull, little by little, at each tiny thread, eventually the entire cord will unravel.

For this reason, marriage must be built on the Rock, not sand. When we choose to stand under God’s protection, the enemy cannot steal our joy and peace.

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock:  and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.

 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”—Matthew 7:24-27


Reasons marriages can be vulnerable to attacks.

All marriages go through rough waters. However, we should be aware and understand that there are areas in our lives, and in our relationships, that can open us up to attacks.

Ruth Bell Graham, the wife of the late Billy Graham, said this:

“It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be: ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need, and making more than adequate provision. Such expectations put a man under an impossible strain. The same goes for the man who expects too much from his wife.”

Exceedingly high expectations will always fall, leaving the door open for the enemy. A number of Christian’s today are not aware of spiritual warfare and how it impacts their minds and relationships. Marriages are left vulnerable to attacks when we are not prepared and misidentify the enemy. Prayer may also be missing from the union. Praying in the Spirit activates alignment. Praying that your spouse grows closer to God and that God will reveal darkness in your own heart can break the heavy yoke of bondage.

We understand relationships are difficult and can leave you feeling alone. We would love to come in agreement with you for your breakthrough! Schedule a personal prayer appoint with us today.