Relationship Reset | The Blessing of a Biblical Marriage
Many of us dream of being married long before it happens. When we think of marriage, we visualize pictures of white picket fences, fairy-tale love, and never-ceasing passion. What you might not envision is disagreements to the point of contention. Whatever comes to mind when you hear the word marriage, one truth remains—it is one of the most significant and life-changing decisions we will ever make.
Have you ever wondered…?
- What happens when the fireworks start to fade, and my fairy-tale marriage falls into a rut?
- How can I lay hold of the blessings that God has in store for my marriage?
The marriage relationship is unique. It is the only covenant relationship that we enter into with another person and God.
God designed the relationship order with intention. Unfortunately, many of us fail to recognize that order, which leads to disappointment in our marriage. We need to keep that from happening if we want our marriage to honor God.
Where Do I Begin When I Want to Invoke God’s Blessing in Marriage?
Let’s start at the beginning…
“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed.”—Genesis 2:7-8
The first mention of a relationship in the Bible is the relationship between man and God. Before creating woman, God first formed a relationship with the man.
He created a garden for Adam to live in and tend to. He gave him instruction and guidance. Though we do not know how much, one thing is clear… God and Adam spent time together.
Relationships are formed over time. We must be intentional about developing our relationship with the Lord. Only then can we be fully engaged in a relationship with our spouse.
God knows us completely and desires to be known by us in return.
If we do not allow ourselves to submit to an intimate relationship with Him, it is likely that we will be unable to do that with our spouse.
Adam spent time with God in the garden before Eve was ever created. Why? So that he could establish a deep level of trust and intimacy.
Declarations for a Biblical Marriage:
- I declare that I will stand with my partner as one flesh united in purpose.
“… But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’”—Genesis 2:20-23
It was only after God developed intimacy with Adam that He created Eve. He created her from the rib of the man and united them as “one flesh.”
The Bible says that when we get married, we leave our parents and are united in a relationship with our spouse. That is where our relationship focus remains for the rest of our lives. God’s intent for marriage is that we become “one flesh”—meaning one in purpose.
- I declare that my spouse and I will support one another and lift each other when we feel defeated.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”—Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Inevitably, there will be storms to weather throughout a marriage. Weathering these storms together helps us invoke the power of “three” mentioned in Ecclesiastes: “And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” We can pray confidently for each other as we navigate the tragedies of this world.
What Does It Mean to Submit to My Spouse?
- I declare that I will put my spouse’s interests above my own and always strive for peace.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”—Philippians 2:3-4
The hardest but most rewarding declaration for our marriage is acting in humility. We should follow our Savior’s advice of loving others more than we love ourselves. When we do, we unleash the unlimited resource of the Holy Spirit that dwells within us.
Through His Spirit, all things are possible (see Matthew 19:26)! We are not only able to put others first but also able to do so without bitterness and resentment.
- I declare that I will submit to my husband as I submit to the Lord.
“… submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”—Ephesians 5:21-24
The word “submit” can ignite a host of negative emotions. The meaning of the original Greek word hupatasso means to “yield to another’s thoughts and opinions over your own.” Therefore, when we slow down to consider one another’s opinions, we are actually allowing God’s Holy Spirit to intervene.
The Holy Spirit helps to guide the decision-making process and keep us aligned with His will.
- I declare to love my wife as Christ loved the Church.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”—Ephesians 5:25-27
In the gospel of John, Jesus says…
“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”—John 15:13
This tells us that we must love with the same enthusiasm that Jesus had for His “friends.” This type of love does not happen without intentionality and self-control.
Both partners need to be acting within the will of God. When that happens, we can be sure that we are getting the best possible outcome from our relationship.
Claim Your Victory in The Courts of Heaven
When all else fails, take your spouse to court! This is not the kind of earthly court we are accustomed to. This is the Heavenly Court that renders a verdict in our favor and puts the enemy in his place. It is a place to proclaim the covenant relationship and ask God to bless your marriage as you submit to His will.
God calls us to petition our case before His ultimate authority in the Courts of Heaven. When we step into His spiritual realm with our requests, we are able to successfully combat the “wiles of the devil.”
“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”—Ephesians 6:11-12
Humbly surrendering your marriage to God through prayer is the quickest way to get it back on track. If you are looking for warriors to step into His realm with you, schedule an appointment with our 1-on-1 personal prayer team.